Oh alright then this sea of heartbreak

[a_muse_d]

Spin









Spin came back yesterday after two weeks of hanging with his bud in Vancouver. He comes and goes, comes and goes. He's probably leaving soon for Bend and music for the 4th weekend. Or not. It's all very fluid.
We talk and laugh and drink a lot and watch baseball and it's ok.


The insurance company has deemed my (Tori's) Mustang a total loss. I am buying it back from them and having my mechanic buddy Duane do the repairs and get it back on the road for me. Not because it is the exact best course of action for ME but because fuck that Tori fuckin' Rides that's why.

And now the body shop won't release it to me until the towing charge is paid. I was told by insurance that it would be paid (I have a saved text message saying so) but now it's a thing.

It is so hard dealing with crap like this at any time but so much more so when I'm driving 200-300 miles a day in a dump truck. I lie awake for hours in the middle of the night, just just just everything.

I've sort of adjusted not having (see I can't even write this without weeping) Mu Ch'i here. The house is so quiet and empty and MauMau is just a different breed of cat and never connected and not my cat at all and never will be. I'm nice to her and her caretaker but I'm alone.


This is my favorite time of year before it gets hot if it does this year and I remember the joy of it and feel it wanting to happen but I got nothing. It's still nice though. In a detached sort of way.


So, I just drive. And drive. And fret. Not much fun, exactly.

But hey. What are ya gonna do.